Journalism leads to writing, writing leads to drinking, drinking leads to divorce (Ben Trovato)

Ben Trovato, image: Facebook

How did you become a writer? Please tell us a bit about your development as a writer.

I became a writer because the army conscripted me into 2 Signals Regiment and one of the requirements was to type 45 words a minute or carry a big Dutchman around the parade ground on my shoulders. So when I left the army, I had the ability to type and to shoot someone in head from a distance of 500 metres. Nobody was hiring snipers at the time, so I went into journalism. My development as a writer? Well, I developed from a young writer who fabricated the facts to one who… okay, so maybe I haven’t developed.

What encourages you to write?

My fear of being sodomised in jail encourages me to write.

If I didn’t write, I would have no other way to earn a living. I would have to rob, pillage and plunder to maintain my lifestyle and sooner or later I would be arrested and tossed into a cell where a fighting general in the 28s would interfere with my bottom. As broad-minded as I am, I can’t have that sort of thing going on.

Through your writing you come across as a… well, there is no other way to say this. You come across as a sexist, rude and arrogant. Which I personally find quite refreshing as a writer, but some of your readers complain quite bitterly about your opinions. How would you describe yourself?

Since you’ve already covered sexist, rude and arrogant, I’d like to add misogynistic, racist and homophobic.

“Will the Real Ben Trovato Please Stand Up”

Do you experience ‘writers block’? And if so, how do you overcome it?

I find alcohol abuse usually opens up a chink in writer’s block just big enough for me to squeeze through.

What makes you decide on which subjects or events to write about every week?

The government helps me to decide. By the time I have read one of the daily newspapers, I am so full of outrage that I can barely stop my hands from shaking long enough to write. No, wait. That’s the withdrawal symptoms kicking in. But still. If you’re not offended by what’s happening in this country, and can’t think of anything to say, you shouldn’t be a satirist. Or even alive.

What has been your greatest writing achievement?

This interview, by far. Oh yes. And I made the longlist for the Alan Paton Award for Non-Fiction but the judges came to their senses and made sure I came nowhere near the shortlist. Or any other kind of list, either. Every time I meet a deadline, I consider it to be my greatest writing achievement.

What advice would you give to new, aspiring writers?

I would advise them to do something else. Writing is backbreaking work, especially if you can’t afford a decent chair. The pay sucks and it’s long and lonely work. However, the hours are fantastic, especially when you don’t do any actual writing.

“Ben Trovato – The Whipping Boy”

How do you go about to get your work published?

Sleep with your publisher. Or, even better, become a publisher.

What is the most important writing tip you have ever received?

Someone once told me not to become a journalist. I didn’t listen. Journalism leads to writing, writing leads to drinking, drinking leads to divorce. Which isn’t always a bad thing.

Who are your most inspirational writers?

Charles Bukowski, Jane Austen, Hunter S Thompson, Wilbur Smith, Henry Root, Charles Darwin, Richard Dawkins, Jesus Christ.

Tell me please, do you have secret survival tips for South African writers?

Learn to live by your wits. Know which roots and berries are hallucinogenic and which should be thrown away. Always sit with your back to the wall in a strange bar. Learn to beg with dignity. Learn to hold your liquor, especially when driving.

Learn to touch-type. Learn to touch women. Properly.

Our country’s own Bukowski…? Maybe, maybe not. Nonetheless, can someone give this man some goddamn money so he can go buy some booze and get back to writing already?!

Relevant links:

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interview: © Keara Edwards
images: Facebook, Amazon Books

“Hits and Missives – The Worst of Ben Trovato”

It doesn’t seem fair that one man is able to express himself successfully through almost every medium possible. So is the skill of our very own Aryan Kaganof. Responisble for the controversial documentary, ‘The Uprising in Hangberg’ that screened at the Labia, Kaganof now also has a film festival under his belt. Let’s here it from him; South African film- maker writer, poet, artist and all round master of the  upper-case, one-liner interview…

So…Aryan, who are you?

ME

What are you all about?
LOVE

Why did you choose to study in Amsterdam?
I WAS LIVING THERE

Did you ride a bicycle?
ONLY AT NIGHT

Explore the Red Light District? Any happy endings?
THE FIRST TIME WAS QUITE SCARY BUT I GOT BETTER AT IT

What’s your most distinctive memory of your time spent in Amsterdam?
POPPERS

How did those years influence you as a person, as an artist.
MADE SURE THAT I NEVER WANT TO LIVE IN HOLLAND AGAIN

KYODAI MAKES THE BIG TIME – What was the public’s reaction to this? Your first film – is it like your first time having sex? Which I guess is a subjective question, but I’m thinking experimental, unnerving, liberating, a learning experience, a humbling experience, leaving you wanting more ?
SEX SHOULD ALWAYS BE LIKE YOU’RE HAVING SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME

What was your all-time favourite childhood movie? Did you ever listen to the “books on tapes”?
PLAY MISTY FOR ME

How would you describe yourself to an alien?
SLOWLY

Who was your inspiration as you grew up? What did he/she/they teach you?
MY MOTHER. SHE USED TO BEAT ME. THAT TAUGHT ME TO LEAVE HOME YOUNG AND GET MY SHIT TOGETHER.

Who is the most enticing individual you have come across?
MY WIFE

What are you fundamental principles in life?
ONLY LOVE IS REAL

Tell me something
I DON’T HATE. ONLY LOVE IS REAL

In the titles words like “dead, serial killer, waster,  Any particular theme thatàultra-violence, fragments, sharp, uneasy” — flows through your work – film/books/poetry/art?

NO

What is Art to you?
“ART” IS ONE OF THOSE WORDS THAT HAS DEGRADED IN MEANING OVER THE PAST DECADES. WORDS LIKE “PARLIAMENT” AND “DEMOCRACY”. A LOT OF OUR LANGUAGE NOW IS ENTIRELY DENUDED OF MEANING. ART IS PROBABLY THE MOST MEANINGLESS OF ALL THE MEANINGLESS ACTIVITIES WE PURSUE.

In terms of writing – who has been your biggest influence? The Beat writers – Jack Kerouac, Burroughs, Gingsberg, then of course Hunter S, Tom Wolfe – how did they change literature?

I TRY NOT TO BE INFLUENCED BY WRITERS. I DON’T READ A LOT. I ENJOY SITTING IN SILENCE AND DOING NOTHING.

Lady Lazarus – Sylvia Plath; this poem is so tragically beautiful. There seems, well to me at least, to be a very powerful connection between tragedy and beauty. What do you think?
BEAUTY IS HARDER THAN PAIN

It’s the same with pain and pleasure, they are so intertwined. The Snuff Collection you seems to explore this – this arousing fascination with torture. I think it is an extremely primitive feeling and Snuff explores this with reckless honesty. Are you a voyeur?
IT DEPENDS ON WHO I’M LOOKING AT

What did you learn from your time in Japan? How did this influence your work?
THE AESTHETICS OF PACKAGING

What your tastiest meal?
WHATEVER MY WIFE IS COOKING TONIGHT

Where can one find you on a Sunday morning?
I CAN NOT BE FOUND ON A SUNDAY MORNING

Anyone we should take notice of?
GENNA GARDINI

Why did you come back to SA?
TO MEET MY FATHER

If you could stick gum in someone’s hair who would lit be?
I ONCE DID THIS TO A GIRL AND SHE WOULD NOT FORGIVE ME, SO NO THANK YOU

What turns you on?
I LIKE IT ROUGH AND DIRTY AND SWEATY AND STINKY

What turns you off?
MAKEUP

interview by: sarah claire picton